This scene is an excerpt of part 9 from chapter 5 of Volume 3: False Teamwork. Enjoy. Reading this for the first time gave me a shock since you can’t help but feel bad for her.
(Excerpt)
«Conscious now?»
«Ayano, kouji-kun……?»
Seemingly unaware of the situation the uttered as in a daze.
«Ugh……my head, it hurts……»
«That’s because of the fever, you’d better not strain yourself.»
«I see…… I, by Ibuki-san… but why are you here……?»
Even when I urged for her to sleep, her thought processes started gearing up thanks to the rising fever. Little by little she realised her own situation.
«It seems…… Ibuki was the one who stole my keycard after all.»
«Is that so?»
«…I can’t, really make fun of Sudou and them anymore.»
Her disgraceful side exposed she closed her eyes grieving over the things she couldn’t do.
«The exam is not easy enough to let you hide it for 24 hours. There will always be a weak spot eventually.»
I planned on reassuring her but it made the heartbroken Horikita even more depressed.
«If I had someone I knew who could be trusted, I could have avoided it, you say……»
If she wanted to protect the identity of the leader, she would have to rely on a trustworthy partner from the bottom of her heart. If she did, she could have as she said, defended it for 24-hours. However, Horikita did not have a single friend of that character. Shamefully, she whispered repeatedly in a small voice.
«When I lost consciousness, I think I heard Ryuuen’s voice somewhere…… Isn’t that weird? Even though he should have retired already……»
«You lost consciousness. It could have been a dream.»
«If that was a dream, that’s even worse……»
So she felt she heard Ryuuen? Even while unconscious, her brain must have decided to wake up by its own. It wouldn’t be strange for her to pick up his voice.
«I’m sorry……»
While I was deep in thoughts, Horikita apologised.
«Why are you apologising to me?»
«That is…… because I have nobody else I can apologise to.»
Hmmm, I see. Those are words that make you think.
«If you think you are in the wrong, make some friends you can trust later. That’s the first step.»
«That’s a high hurdle…… There is nobody who wants me as their friend.»
I began to laugh by her self-deprecation as if she had given up, no rather, by the signs I could feel from her.
«You laughing can’t be helped, but it’s unpleasant being ridiculed like this……»
«Nah, that’s not it. You are beginning to feel that you need allies aren’t you?»
«I didn’t say that……»
If it was the usual Horikita, she would have insulted them. This time however, there was something else mixed in. A sense of self-blame could also be found within those words. If not she wouldn’t have said ‘There is nobody who wants me as their friend’. Still, it wouldn’t be easy. If anyone could have paved a new road of the one they had made all this time, nobody would struggle. Horikita’s hollow eyes didn’t as much as look at me, rather it was looking at someone else beyond.
«Even though I should have realised it way back already……»
You cannot live alone in this world. There would always be many others at school and in society.
«Don’t speak anymore. You are ill.»
I tried to persuade her to calm down, but Horikita didn’t stop her confession. But Horikita didn’t have the choice to rely on anyone else. Even if she saw it, she couldn’t choose it.
«I will show you that I can rise up to class A on my own. I will definitely make up for this loss……»
She weakly grabbed my sleeve and proclaimed.
«I have prepared myself to be hated by everyone in class…… it was such a huge blunder after all.»
«Under this school’s system, nobody can rise to class A on their own. You would need to cooperate with your classmates. That’s an unavoidable fact.»
Losing the strength to hold her eyes open, her pupils were closing. Even though the grip holding my sleeve were faint, I felt a strength in them.
«I can’t accept that. No matter the struggle, nonetheless……I will do it alone……»
«Ah, shut up. Don’t babble anymore. A sick person like you has not a flick of persuasion power.»
I put more strength into carrying Horikita and held her more closely.
«You can’t handle all the responsibility. You are not that strong of a girl. Regrettably though.»
«So you are telling me to give up? My dream of rising to class A, my dream of being recognised by my brother?»
«I didn’t say that. You don’t have to give up.»
I looked down the suffering Horikita in my arms and continued.
«If you can’t fight on your own. Fight with two. I will lend you a hand.»
«Why……? You are not, a person to, say things like that……»
«Well, who knows.»
I didn’t answer, making my words ambitious. Yet again, Horikita began to lose consciousness from her strength draining away. The one thing I have to do now, nobody should know and that is to get her out. It was easy to make her retire, but I don’t know how the emergency button on the wristwatches works. If a helicopter suddenly came down, the sound of slashing would reverberate in the area.
«Whoops…… wrong way… … that was dangerous.»
Leaving the small road to proceed further, I regrettably came to a steep cliff. One step further and I would roll and fall down. Trying to look down using the flashlight, it seems the cliff was about 10 meters high. It seems I sadly took walked the wrong direction. Anyway, I returned to the road I came. To not put a burden on her, I slowly turned back, but right after—.
The ground under me suddenly began to crumble and I lost my balance. If I was alone I could have grabbed one of the trees to help me but that option was blocked by me holding Horikita using both my arms. I can’t prevent the fall. I tried to protect her by covering her with myself, but without any countermeasures, we began to roll down the steep cliff.
I think my consciousness flew away for a few second since I can’t exactly remember anything right after the touchdown. It was lucky that Horikita didn’t suffer any damage though. I looked up at the inclination but getting back up there with Horikita seems like it will be futile.
«…… I messed that one up.»
But we cannot stay here for long. I changed to piggybacking her, who was still unconscious, then proceeded through the dark forest with only a flashlight in hand. The rain striking unyieldingly on us drained the body strength. What’s more, the unusual warmth from Horikita’s fever was transmitted to me. Being drenched by more rain would be dangerous. But we were in a forest. There wouldn’t be any cave or any human built structures around. In that case we have to borrow the power of nature. Luckily for us, the trees grew everywhere and depending on the place, there was definitely a place that wasn’t wet from the rain. I found a remarkably large tree in the vicinity and laid us to rest there. Of course, avoiding the rain completely wasn’t going to happen but the overgrown tree and its leaves sheltered us mostly from the rain. I let her down to her side. She would have to endure my dirty jersey for now. I sat down and put laid her head on my lap. If the air was cool and refreshing, it would be something. However, due to the temperature, it was dampening hot. While feeling ill, she would from time to time curl up, her body shivering. To lessen her burden I would embrace her, waiting for time to pass. I don’t know how long it took but she eventually woke up, her breath ragged. As in a daze she had a hard time realising her situation.
«Why, are you here? …… I ……?»
She must be confused since she didn’t seem to remember anything from earlier. I explained to her beginning from the start though I doubt she understood everything.
«I see… I remember.»
«That’s good.»
«I wonder. It may be worse since I now remember my blunder.»
Since she could ridicule herself again, it lessened my worries for now.
«It’s almost 6 now. Horikita. It may be hard, but you should retire. Your body won’t hold up any longer.»
She may have managed to endure it until now but it was impossible to continue.
«I can’t do that. I can’t make our class lose 30 points due to me…… I confronted Karuizawa and the other girls for using points, you know? I would feel like an idiot……»
The penalty for dropping out due to health issues was heavy. As for the points, it would be even larger than what Karuizawa using for herself. She helplessly covered her eyes with her arm. She might be covering her dripping tears.
«Not only that… my keycard was stolen from me. You understand right……?»
«That would make Class D lose 50 points more.»
She nodded lightly. In that case, our remaining points would be almost nothing.
«Leave me behind and go back alone. If you do that, we will only lose points due my absence during roll call.»
«And what are you going to do then?»
«I will return by myself somehow……before tomorrow morning. If I can manage to endure the roll call, I will definitely avoid retiring.»
We would then end up with only losing only 5 points. That was probably her goal.
«The situation won’t allow for that. Your body is pretty weak right now, fooling the teachers it isn’t something you can overcome with acting alone. What’s more, it’s impossible for you to return alone.»
«Even so, I have to do it…… To let our class have some points remaining.»
Not counting the case with the keycard, there was a possibility to avoid the minus points for the roll call and the retirement. And it wasn’t by a small amount either.
«Go.»
I felt a fortitude and fighting spirit dwelling deep within her word she produced from her weakly body. While she may endure dragging her own feet, she can’t accept getting caught with her. Since I didn’t say anything, she unsteadily got herself up and laid her head on the large tree trunk. Leave me be, she seems to imply.
«Well, I’ll leave you here then. I would be blamed by my classmates if not after all.»
«……Yes. That’s the right decision. All responsibility lies with me.»
Horikita praised my cold decision. To shame only herself one nobody else. It must be hard having a personality that won’t let you trust others. The weather was still raging on, neither wind nor rain seems to settle down.
«You really can return by tomorrow morning by yourself?»
«Yes……It will be fine.»
«……Horikita. You believe not retiring now is the right choice?»
I unnecessarily said too much.
«That’s obvious…… The option to retire is not available to me.»
She was raising her fighting spirit on her own. What good does that do if you lose in the end.
«You, why do you think you are cornered and wailing in despair right now?»
«…… I was being negligent. A blunder. Only that.»
«You’re wrong. Completely wrong.»
Horikita Suzune fought with everything she’s got on her own. Then she would safely complete the exam.
«……go…… since I think of you as a comrade, please……»
Surprised by something, she closed her gasping mouth after saying those words.
«I take that back…… Pretend that didn’t happen.»
«No, that’s the crucial point I think.»
«It’s fine. I will, do…… alone…… urg……»
Suddenly raising herself up must have taken a toll on her after all. She close her eyes in pain.
«Go, please……»
Leaving those words behind, she lost her consciousness again. I carefully lifted her in my arms and make her rest in an easier position. I stood up and sighed by the never-ending darkness above me.
«It would be better for us both if you had retired by your own volition.»
This obstinate princess wouldn’t yield to the exam until the end. That’s praiseworthy. Yes, I think it’s commendable. Your thoughts and actions were almost right. But too bad Horikita, you have misunderstood one thing. Now, I’ll confess from the bottom of my heart, that I don’t think of you as my comrade at all. I don’t even feel concerned for you as a classmate. In this world, winning is everything, the process doesn’t matter. I don’t care about the sacrifices. I only need to win in the end. You, Hirata, no, all humans are only tools for that. I’m not responsible for you being cornered until now. I just assisted with it. Thus don’t blame me. It just means you were useful to me.”
(End excerpt)
Cinnamon Translation 